Táin Bó: Our developing card game (coming soon)
See below to read about the characters in Táin Bó! Please know that Táin Bó is still being developed, so these characters and their backstories/archetypes/names may change over time
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(the side-kick)
Is an introduction really necessary? Indiana Bónes is only here to make sure this journey breaks, destroys and sets fire to as much property as possible. Like an angel sent by God, this cow will make sure by the end at least five major world cities are bankrupt and the British Museum has twelve new artifacts because THEY BELONG IN A MUSEUM!
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(the villain)
They say his eyes burn with the same fire from the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs. He is the one who sits in the tall, black spinney chair and then turns around to face you slowly while stroking a disgruntled cat in his lap.
The Professor of Paleontology is the villain in this tale. And also Princess Cow’s ex-husband but we don’t talk about that shush.
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(the protagonist)
THE GODDESS
THE EMPRESS
THE QUEEN
Princess Cow is the centre of this fair tale and the leader of this merry-band of cows. Did she set out on this quest to conquer destiny, or to avoid tax evasion and her ex-boyfriend Carl?
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(the mentor)
Bó Cailleach/The Witch Cow conjures up potions and spells to her hearts desire, and is feared by every knight in the land.
Yet she still can never beat Bríd at Bingo. Damn you, Bríd.
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(the love-interest)
The love interest. Of who? Well that’s up to interpretation.
intro to Careless Whisper starts playing
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(the background character)
Your friendly neighbourhood cow! They’re not really part of the story, but they live beside Princess Cow and honestly at this point they’ve learned not to ask questions. They just hope the Aliens won’t eat the sun, it’d be bad for barbecuing.
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(the anti-hero)
The Professor of Paleontology’s LOYAL SIDE-KICK, and also his nephew. Space Cow loves, talks, and breaths Space. But he also dreams of Broadway and the spotlight of theatre has been calling him since he was born. Currently, he is writing a one-cow Space Opera novella/tv series/Star Trek fanfic.
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(the foil)
Rí an Bhó/The Cow King is the opposite of our protagonist. Where Princess Cow is three times divorced, Rí is happily married, where Princess Cow fails to avoid taxes, Rí succeeds and where Princess Cow puts her friends and family aside to follow her morals and save the planet, Rí just wants to help his friend, the Professor out. Who cares if he’s the villain?